Axl Thorn

what do you see?

2005-09-17T01:31:00.000-06:00

The mirror lies, what you see isnt really there.

Change your angle and nothing changes,

Close your eyes now everything has changed.

Now the reflection has ceased and you can see your mind

What you thought you could not see, now blinds you

Without sight the soul can now be seen

In the dark things become clear Who you are isnt what people see

If only they could see who you want to be.

Original Work by:

Alex Lynn

A long day that won't seem to end

2005-09-17T00:11:00.000-06:00

A long day that won't seem to end; I've struggled with this day for a while. My life is filled with so many wonderful things that when everything is running smoothly, or when you drift off into a fantasy world for a couple of days, you always crash oh so hard. A day that seems to just left your spirits just by waking up, those days are the best. You feel like your flying, you feel like you're the only important person in the world. And the T.V. goes on and you remember all those moments that have happend, that clip your wings and make you fall to the ground, make you sink, make you cry. A hurricane, a death, an attack, brittney's baby (not my kid); For me, it's the realization that my father might be taking the bottle more seriously than his family. He is the greatest father i've ever had. He's taught me so many important things in life. I have too many awesome memories to shun him away just yet.
I helped him unload a large number of boxes of wine from his car. You'd of thought it was Christmas for him. His eyes where so fixated on not dropping the wine, so motivated on getting to the basement, he had forgotten the pain that has been growing in his knees. I watched him for those couple of minutes. I watched in horror. I felt invisible. I felt cold (on half of my body anyway.)
I've tried to talk to my dad when he's sober, and he's still the best dad I could ask for. I ask for one other thing dad:
put the bottle down. I hate to see a grown man in lipstick, or should I say stained from the wine. I love the fact that you can leane on me, just not when you're drunk. Your footsteps make me dizzy and i'm not sure I want to follow.

Jerry Springer visits the casa

2005-09-13T00:06:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to wonder if i'm a product of a drunken night. I'm almost positive that the two devorices were because of many drunken nights, but now that i'm living with my father again, drinking is almost as important as his work. I've been trying to figure out where the KIDS fit in with my parents lifestyles. more later

Eulogy

2005-02-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

They said it was tragic on Channel 4.

The news of Hunter S. Thompson’s death as a result of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound was surprising only in the sense that he lived this long. And that it wasn’t a car crash or drug overdose or boat fire or mysterious jungle infection that finally did him in. Not that he deserved some biblical retribution for the life he chose, some fear-inspiring cataclysmic erasure of the long-abused self, like Belushi or Joplin or Hendrix, the kind of self-fulfilling prophecy that gives the Repressive Right erections of smug superiority. Though there will almost certainly follow sad-faced tributes that will highlight his drug and alcohol use and simple-mindedly attribute his death to the Fried Brain, despite the fact that at 67 years old he had been living that way for perhaps half a century.

I learned that I wanted to be writer by reading Thompson. I don’t remember how I discovered him, but when I was 13 or 14 I devoured his early books—and, yes, I also devoured what substances I could get a hold of in suburban Atlanta, using Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as a sort of menu. Attempting to decipher my nightly acidhead scribblings in the bitter light of the hangover dawn was certainly a challenge—and honestly, not terribly rewarding. There are no shortcuts to insight, I learned, though it took me years to discover that the great drug- writers were often most productive after the drugs had worn off. Except for the speed, of course. That’s for making deadlines.

Thompson’s writing was a window that opened onto even weirder writers—Burroughs, Kerouac, and Kesey soon followed. But Dr. Gonzo always remained a favorite. He had a certain wild aggressiveness that may have originated in the shallow end—he began as an Air Force sportswriter—but wound up in whatever mad depths The Story took him to. Often he discovered what the story actually was only after he had become a part of it, as useful a definition of gonzo journalism as there is. He showed me that there is no Right Way, except for the way you choose, in both life and writing. Fear may be present, perhaps even The Fear, but it was something you faced and overcame, not something you fled.
Even if the bats came after you.

And it was fearlessly that he faced down The Establishment in a way that has not been repeated since. And now they are back. The spiritual heirs of Nixon are running things again, the Fixers and the Thugs who would have us all think and act right, who would dampen anything that resembles actual freedom, all in the name of some obscene money-grubbing perversion of freedom, administered by Halliburton for 27 percent off the top. And this too shall pass, hopefully; everything is cyclical, ashes to ashes and all that.

He will be missed. But perhaps Thompson’s spiritual heirs are still battling, still fighting the good fight against the overwhelming weight of all that is rotten and stinking and hypocritical at the core of the American Dream. In the pages of a thousand newspapers like the one you’re holding, on 10,000 websites, on DIY records and at tiny club shows they stand up on their hind legs and scream like banshees against the crushing inhuman weight of The Machine. And Hunter is smiling down on it all.

He will be missed. I’ll drink some Wild Turkey 101 in his honor, perhaps a lot. But was his death tragic? No. He died in the manner of his choosing, at the time he chose, just as he lived. Truly he stomped on the Terra.
Selah.

A good freind wrote this and it was posted in the Rocky Mountain Bullhorn

Don't call it a comeback

2005-01-16T23:16:00.001-07:00

There is but one problem that I can see now that LL's party BLOWOUT 2005 is now over with. No, the cops didn't show up and no nail polish was splattered all about the bathroom. While I was purchasing a new shirt for the birthday party, which I proudly wrote "Don't call it a comeback," I walked by the stand for that stupid as seen on tv Chaser Pill and said hey, should we get some and see if it works to my roomate...no, he said, i just don't get hangovers anymore. Well i think that i succeded in getting my worst ever hangover in the history of my life. I'm guessing it was the combination of Coopersmiths Keg beer and the 5 cases of 40's that we bought, ranging from mickeys to good'ol king cobra.
I was happy to hear when my roomate couldn't find the Duct tape in which to strap down a 40 in each hand as to be "Edward 40 Hands." I felt a smile consume my lips and the inner me was celebrating better than any of TO's endzone dances. It was 3 am the next time i looked at a clock and the party was still going and the same taxi driver had already been to our place 8 times. I'd venture to say that he knew where our house was. There was also a line for the taxi as well, as the driver knew that he had business there and just kept coming back. As none of my siblings decided to show up, it was time for the el to get his freak on and brush his shoulders off. My goodest freind Ricky aka. DJ solis showed up a cool hour and a half late and we had to relie on the good'ol digital music to provide some serious tunes. They had no love for the man of the hour although we did play 6 degrees of LL cool J.
Inbetween busting some hot freestyle lyrics, and telling everyone at the party that i didn't know that my name was arthur padington from vermont, I checked my phone and realized that about 8 people had called me wondering when i had moved from my old house, and telling me that the people who know reside in the lake st house were really not down with everyone just walking in their house...it brought up some found memories of ordering a bunch of pizza's and sending them to friends who you know would just search the couch and find enough money to pay for them. It was amuzing. but what isn't is my damned hangover. with my 3 hours of sleep and my devotion to playoff football which had to be watched, i felt like whomever tanya harding fought in celebrity boxing....she got fat by the by. i'm out

A day in the life of me

2005-01-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

I just realized that it takes me a total of 3 hours to clean my house. I also noticed that it take the other 5 people in my house a total of 11 minutes to completely trash it, and might I add, not even notice that the house was cleaned...I need lightbulbs, either for lighting my kitchen, or for ideas other than moving to Denver to live in my Grandmas old condo. I love Mandy Moore and all that she stands for. Today it was sunny, yesterday it snowed. I did doughnuts in my jeep and that seemed to help break up the ice. I feel that my back right tire might be a little low, i'll check the air presure before i head to work.
Getting ready for LL to come and party with us is getting to me. I'm thinking of getting a cake in his honor. I love peaches and cream

Ass-trology

2004-12-17T01:12:00.000-07:00

So as I was working the door at work the other night, I picked up a local newspaper and read my horiscope. I'm honestly so glad that I did. I tore it out of the paper and have been reading it to everyone one I meet....I suppose that means all you fucks. Here you go.

"As I meditated about what would be the perfect holiday gift for you, I kept coming back to the fantacy of a thousand doughnuts. Nothing pleased me more thatn the mental image of your living room covered with boxes of Bavarian cream, chocolate frosted, jelly-filled, and apple crumb doughnuts. Here's the astrological explanation for my intuition: I think fate plans to blow your mind with sweet extravagance in 2005. Receiving a thousand doughnuts would be a metaphorical rehearsal."

Call it an epiphany, call it hope, call it whatever the shit you want but i'm pumped up about it all. Not only did it say something about doughnuts and me getting some, it also said that my year was going to be saweet....with no pun intended. So here's to the new year, raise your glasses, because I am and can now say that i've written a semi-wasted blog, and give it up to the new year and changes....of coarse you have to give it up to all those in which we've lost, and all those in need of help. peace, i'm out

Fear and Lusting in FTC

2004-12-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

So I think it's the time of year, or maybe the fried turkey, but life always seems to get tougher as the holidays roll in. For the first time in a long time, i actually feel motivated to do something. Now that something is just about everything in my life, but the motivation is there. I miss school. I miss learning, i've started judging my smarts on how well i can play scrabble. If my IQ is my scrabble score, i'm in pretty good shape...well there's another issue i've become motivated. Is my weight really the only reason i don't have a girlfriend? Issue number 4. I'm in like. I'm not in love, i'm in like. with a girl. not just any girl, but the girl that i've been in like with since mr. Talich's physical science class in 9th grade. We held hands to proove that fact that the human body is a good conductor of electricty. The whole class was in a circle holding hands, and she stood next to me, doc. martins and all. I'd like to say that the experiment was shocking, but who am i, my uncle?

Sleepless In Fort Collins

2004-11-01T15:57:00.000-07:00

I got a grand total of two hours of sleep last night. The night before, a whooping three hours. I guess it's a good thing that I have a shitty job that even Christopher Reeves could have done. Not that I'm ripping on Superman, or even the fact that you'd have to be Superman to perform in my shoes, or the fact that I am Superman. Sleep is the last thing on my mind. In the last week, i've lost: an Uncle, a Cat, a Phone number from a girl, a Fantasy Football game, and most reciently, my Step-Mom (not lost forever, but i'm not sure where she is).
Deja Vu all over again. The phrase: "Been there, done that" is running through my head just about as much as the song Love hurts. I feel that HBO will be at the door with the new reality show that takes a family and trys to do as much stuff to them as possible. I think Sex in the City would be a better show for our family. Although i'm sure that my brother would want to be Tony Soprano...

Understanding Alice

2004-10-28T13:57:00.000-06:00

So I did something the other night that i'd never done before. Something i've always wanted to try, but could never bring myself to do it. I saw the dark side of the moon. I triped and did not fall. I ate what I hate. Mushrooms.
I felt nothing for about 40 minutes. My life was put on slow-mo and everything that i thought that was, was not. Colors, why didn't my teachers teach me these kind of colors? Well no matter, I have a new teacher.

CD's for Sale

2004-10-25T17:38:00.000-06:00

So I just went to go buy a cd for the first time since I bought the '96 "Tales From the Crypt" Christmas album. I wanted to be good and support a band that I like, but have realized that I have no idea of what I like anymore. I looked around for KS 107.5 songs of the year, but they haddn't relesed it yet. Best Buy's country section is, well, lets just say that it wasn't really there and the only thing I even thought about buying was Journey's Greatest Hits...Steve Perry!! I then turned my attention to the search for Family Guy season 3 or 4, whichever came first. I don't think Bill Gates could have paid for those. But since I'm as tall as my wallet, I think i'll sleep on it and purchase it tomorrow.

Oh yeah, Go Broncos!!

The way things work

2004-10-25T14:55:00.000-06:00

I'm not normally this tall, i'm just sitting on my wallet

Retirement

2004-10-25T14:33:00.000-06:00

I really think that this is stupid and am now announcing my retirement

Watch out now...

2004-10-25T14:18:00.000-06:00

I really hope that this works for if it does, you all in bloggerstown are in trouble. If it doesn't, then i shall atempt to block out the sun